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  • Cece

The Real Reason I shaved my head

My hair is exhausting. Her kinky texture and potential for breakage drives me crazy. She is constantly thirsty. Some areas need more hydration while others lose their bounce with just a smidge too much olive oil. My hair does not work well with shea butter, and often ends up white and greasy. It all depends on the mood of "Puff." To top it all off, Puff's products costs an arm, leg and torso.

Puff's maintenance is partially why I shaved my head. I was deeply in love with being outrageously American Black. I wanted a huge 'fro to announce my presence with a bandana to show just how Brooklyn I really am; I did this too. I happily climbed the staircase of Black Womanhood from TWA to medium 'fro with a black, red, rainbow, or green colored bandana I bought in bulk. I was doing well. My hair was supposed to represent how strong I am. It's supposed to be long, kinky, and defiantly pulled into a puff or two. It was supposed to be braided naturally and when someone asked if I was part Trinidadian or biracial, I was supposed to give a proud grin similar to the women and men I saw on Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook. Supposedly.

Then Puff starting weeping. Every time I picked her out for the day, handfuls of hair would fall in my palm, in the sink and the rest would be stuck between the teeth of the pic. College was weighing me down and my silver hairs were reflecting it. I had two jobs and a part - time internships that was running me dry. I had bills that the two jobs barely paid for. Puff and I thought it was time to braid but the prices were ridiculous. For braids to last beyond one month, Puff needed fine, thin micro braids that started at $200. I would have to bring my own extensions. My wallet disagreed. I knew there were way cheaper options, but I did not want the hair to be fuzzy and have to braid it again in another month or two. Also, I was supposed to be saving to study abroad. I didn't want to spend anything!

I didn't have a long process to cutting my hair. I like short hairstyles and I am a scissor - happy girl. I took decided I solve my financial debate and deal with my stress in a healthier way - start over. I told my father to shave it all off. Puff was getting pricey and I'm comfortable with one expensive bottle of curling custard, a spray leave in conditioner and some hair food. He chopped it all off, fixed my edges and I never felt richer.

Since that decision, I've become more committed to my mental and financial health. I planned my day so I can get an overview of what could be accomplished in the day. My goal isn't ever to do it all. If I get at least three things done I promised myself I wouldn't complain and stress over it. I even lost a bunch of weight because I wasn't compulsively eating or staying at home with the lame excuse "I didn't do my hair." Puff is shiny and stronger despite being drastically cut off. I know she will grow back and I've met friends who know of less expensive hair stylist.